Drone Or Dog: Why A UAV Is Better Than A Pet

by coptrz on June 3, 2016

Drones don't make a mess like puppies do...

Sure, pets are (usually) fluffy things that provide comfort to the loneliest of souls, but let’s be honest: a pet can be a right pain, can’t they? All that feeding for a start, not to mention vet’s bills.

We feel strongly about this at COPTRZ™. Don’t get us wrong: we love animals. We’re just… erring towards the side of drone. Here’s why:

1. No Need For Walkies – Except When You Want

Cute dogs umbrellas wellies
They think they’re cute… but it’s still gon’ rain. Who likes a soggy dog?

A drone sits patiently in its case, waiting to be taken out when YOU want to. There is no need to go outside in the rain because Rex and Fido need their daily outing. You don’t even have to let it out the back to perform… functions.
A drone is quite literally a fair weather pal: if it’s sunny, you’re surely going to want to go to the park and have a play. But pets… they just don’t understand that “There are ten inches of snow out there” means “No”, and “We’re on a hurricane warning” means “HELL to the no”. A drone would think (if they could think) “Brrrr! Batteries won’t work!” and “HELL to the no” for each respective situation.

(Although if you ARE a crazy person who loves being outside in all weathers – COPTRZ™ have drones for that, too).

2. No 5am Wake-Up Call

Dog wants to go out.
Dog, cat, hamster – your pet is guaranteed to have a different body clock to you. A drone definitely doesn’t. (Courtesy of The Oatmeal)

In the same vein as walkies, you won’t have the patter of tiny padding paws stumble over you in the early hours, that awful pre-amble to being rudely awoken to a cat meowling wildly in your face. Inevitably, the cat is just bored and will go back to sleep as soon as you’re wide awake, and said cat will not wake up for anything.

Similarly, anyone with a nocturnal caged pet knows how little sleep they’re likely to get – unless you like constant rattling of exercise wheels at 3am.

A drone sits there, waiting patiently. Are you seeing the theme yet?

3. You Can’t Upgrade A Pet

Grumpy cat is ugly cat
You’re stuck with it til it dies. How fun.

Well, you probably can but it’d be either illegal or animal cruelty. (Your dog is NOT the Six Billion Dollar Mutt, no matter how hard you try to make norvasc buy online biomechanic robotics for canines work).

Technology advances so quickly it’s often hard to keep up. But when you’re old original Inspire starts to look a bit worn and sad, don’t fret! You can always upgrade to the newest model. You’ll get tons more fun from a new gadget than bearing with Mr Fluffs for another 8 to 10 years waiting for him to die so you can get another puppy. Dogs are only cute when they’re puppies, cats when they’re kittens, but drones? You drone will always be awesome because you can have the latest model whenever you want, without risking the jealousy of Scaly McScalerson the bearded dragon when you get a new one.

4. Your Pet Can’t Take Awesome Pictures

Cat taking selfies because why not?
No opposable thumbs = this would never happen.

If your pet has mastered how to use a camera, get on Britain’s Got Talent, now.

Tying a GoPro to its collar doesn’t count, FYI.

A drone is always ready to take sky-high views in glorious high definition. Instead of you taking pictures of your pet, your ‘pet’ can take pictures of you. Cool, huh?

5. No Puppy Training Required

Cute dog paint paw prints bad dog
Not all puppy training incidents are so cute. “BAD DRONE” will never feature in your vocabulary.

A drone will not sh*t all over the house. It will not have to learn how to sit and roll over. It definitely won’t have to understand it’s Not OK to jump up at strangers.

A drone is ready-to-fly out of the box, your commands are always obeyed. Sure, you might get a stray gust of wind taking you off course, or a predatory eagle could try to take it down, but that’s not your drone’s fault. You’re not going to scramble over to the wreckage screaming “DOWN, Brian, DOWN! Get OFF the eagle! BAD DOG”. Instead it’ll be more epic, where you’re going to wish for a sudden downpour so you can fall to your knees by broken propellers and scream to the sky a single, loud, heartwrenching “NOOOOOOOOO!!!”.

Before you claim insurance and buy another drone.

A pet is for life. It’s part of your family. It’ll be there with you for a long, LONG time.
A drone? It’s fun to use, behaves itself, doesn’t ruin the carpets, always obeys orders, and can be upgraded with the latest model whenever you fancy a change. What’s not to like?

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